Tollman’s Journal

Somewhere to post stories, journals, and other fiction based on No Rest for the Wicked.

Tollman’s Journal

Postby Designer Bloodstain » Sun Nov 16, 2014 4:23 pm

*Written in a neat and flowing hand, the latest entry in the journal of Inquisitor Ambrose Cordell Tollman*

[Arkangel]

Thought for the day: Blessed are the songs of the Navis Nobilite.

A man died.

One single man in a galaxy where millions pass and are born every single second without notice. But this man, this Rogue Trader. He comes to the end of his life, slain by the passing of the sands of time and some degenerative disease as I understand it and this little corner of that same galaxy is given pause and sets about mourning.

I did not know the man but I will attend anyway. I have had some limited contact with the Holy Church in this sector and so I shall attach myself to their party under the guise of being one of the idle wealthy and see what I might learn of the great and good of this sector. Personally I find it does not do well to introduce yourself by flashing ones seal without good reason.

There is a time and a place for that and it is my hope that this is not it.

Some people are so much more loosely lipped when they think they are speaking to friends as opposed to colleagues or indeed a figure of authority.

Ravenor wrote highly of the virtues of friendship and their place with regards to our work and I for one find myself in agreement with Gideon.

Let us see then what the sector makes of Master-Scholar Tollman before it is introduced to Inquisitor Tollman.

Note to self: Have Equerry EM schedule a vox transmission in case you need to escape from any tedious diplomatic meetings.
War across the stars...for every child...
Designer Bloodstain
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Ambrose Cordell Tollman
 
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Re: Tollman’s Journal

Postby Designer Bloodstain » Sun Nov 16, 2014 4:28 pm

*Scrawled in a less neat hand, obviously written in haste.*

[Arkangel – A note]

There is something rotten in the hull...
War across the stars...for every child...
Designer Bloodstain
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Re: Tollman’s Journal

Postby Designer Bloodstain » Sun Nov 16, 2014 4:39 pm

*A return to that neat hand*

[The Maw]

Thought for the day: There is only war.

We go to battle amongst the stars!

I have travelled on many void ships but void war is not something I have ever experienced firsthand.

The good captain Friedmann tells me that I am in for a show, that the discipline of naval warfare is truly the only way to engage in the business of purging the enemies of mankind. Why bother slogging through trenches, getting covered in blood and dirt he says, when you can simply press a button and vaporise half a continent with the concentrated lance fire of a fleet.

Why indeed...?

I do not know which the captain looked more horrified by, the thought of being soaked in blood or covered in dirt. You hear of them, these career men. They set foot on a ship or they are born on one and then that is it, they do not feel the touch of the ground or the feel of clean, non-recycled air ever again.

How terrible that must be, especially if you have known the open sky and the feel of earth beneath your feet. Personally I do not think this life is for me, but thinking of it I can understand the appeal in a way. The ship is a sealed environment after all, everything runs according to a schedule and with tight discipline. In effect you are a part of a sealed and heavily armed community that is more than able to either defend itself or relocate away from danger as necessary.

I took the time to read some further accounts of naval warfare. I find myself both somewhat excited but also subject to a curious creeping dread. I have no doubt that the coming battle will be spectacular. But this is not an enemy I can face with my sword or the Holy Bolt Pistol I keep strapped to my thigh. I know nothing of the working of ships or the flow of void battles. I can then, only provide moral support to the crew of the Hammer of Gygax. I shall address them soon I think and let them know that one of the eyes of the Emperor is aboard and they fight under His gaze as surely as mine...
War across the stars...for every child...
Designer Bloodstain
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Ambrose Cordell Tollman
 
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Re: Tollman’s Journal

Postby Designer Bloodstain » Sun Nov 16, 2014 4:40 pm

*Written in a neat hand.*

Note to self: commendations for Friedmann and the crew of the Hammer of Gygax.
War across the stars...for every child...
Designer Bloodstain
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Ambrose Cordell Tollman
 
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Re: Tollman’s Journal

Postby Designer Bloodstain » Sun Nov 16, 2014 4:49 pm

*Written in a neat hand.*

[Void Battle]

Thought for the day: Victory brings its own rewards.

In His name we are victorious.

We have smashed the forces of the Archenemy.

Granted the main objective of the battle manage to escape but we have smashed many of their ships and liberated a key installation from their vile grip.

What a beast that thing was...Some ancient cruiser, taken and corrupted. The blasphemous thing has prowled the stars for too long and it aggrieves me that it shall continue to do so for now.

Still...

As a first taste of void war, I could not have asked to have been in better hands. Friedmann was amazing, he made it look so very effortless. I am reckoned to be a clever man but I suspect I would have struggled with the complex math he was engaging in by the second there...

There was this one moment where the ship peeled off at some seemingly impossible angle to present broadside to one of the ships of the enemy. We smashed them from the stars and burned them with our fire.

The crew cheered. I could feel it ringing through the ship, thousands of honest Imperial voices rising to praise His name and the glory we had won.

I cheered with them.
Last edited by Designer Bloodstain on Sun Mar 29, 2015 4:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
War across the stars...for every child...
Designer Bloodstain
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Ambrose Cordell Tollman
 
Posts: 141
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2013 4:06 pm

Re: Tollman’s Journal

Postby Designer Bloodstain » Sun Nov 16, 2014 5:00 pm

*Written in a neat hand.*

[A Question]

Thought for the day: Only in death does our duty end.

A question.

“How do you sleep at night?”

From the lips of one of the condemned.

You learn early on, when you first come into the service as an agent or in turn an Interrogator, to swiftly shut out their ranting. The insane, the damned and the doomed. It is easy as a young man with an undisciplined mind to listen too closely and find your resolve rocked or your thoughts stained with theirs.

We must always guard ourselves in that respect.

Ideological pollution my mentor called it.

I am inclined to agree, it is like an oil stain in a way.

Insidious and creeping.

Hard to remove.

There is wisdom to be found sometimes however and that is what makes our task difficult. You must shut out the ranting but you must also listen to it.

Sometimes...

Sometimes things come back to you.

How do you sleep at night?

I have seen many things, though I am a young man in terms of the standard Terran Years. Indeed, if you ignore my sidereal age I am not yet 40. Which does make me rather young to be an Inquisitor. But I have seen things...I have seen such things. Horrors and wonders and with each thing I see I know there is more.

There will always be more.

Our war is eternal, our task never ending.

For our war is a war of the grey, we seek the spaces in between the black and white and bring what we find there into His light so that it may be judged accordingly.

I am responsible, my actions and orders have lead to the deaths so very many and I am only at the beginning of my career.

I used to hear them, in my sleep, in my dreams. The pleas and the screaming, the blasphemies and the oaths.

You tell yourself all sorts of things about duty and purpose.

But that doesn’t get rid of them.

I once said I had seen too much after coming face to face with [REDACTED] but I continued to see and I will always continue to see until the day comes for me to sit at the side of His Throne.

You stop counting eventually.

Stop seeing individuals.

How do I sleep at night?

Like a babe in arms.
War across the stars...for every child...
Designer Bloodstain
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Ambrose Cordell Tollman
 
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Re: Tollman’s Journal

Postby Designer Bloodstain » Tue Jan 27, 2015 12:26 am

*That neat hand*

[Choices]

Thought for the day: To suffer is noble.

We took the station, some of them were calling it [REDACTED] in their black tongue. It was a largely clean action as far as these things go. Clean is quite relevant here, there was a sickness there. The kind that isn't just simple illness, the kind that comes from...Even the thought of writing the name disgusts me.

I see no purpose in fouling this journal with it.

The men are sick.

Some of them anyway, the ones that went into the [REDACTED] and the ones that fought against the boarders. My medical knowledge is limited alas and the councilors advise me to apply the mercy of the Emperor and see the bodies burned. But I cannot do that, these men fought for us, some of them died for us.

I cannot just leave the survivors to rot.

Not like this.

It is risky but I have given the medicae leave to do all they can. Some of them might make it and perhaps that is worth the risk of it spreading. I have locked down those decks and if necessary and I shall lead a cleansing team myself before having them opened to the void.

If He is merciful this day, it will not come to that.

Curious how we can find ourselves in these positions, one day I can give an order that sees a city burned to a crisp from orbit and the next here I find myself struggling to save the lives of fifty individuals out of a thousand.

It is perhaps in these small actions that we find a measure of balance, redemption even, for those of us who are inclined in that direction.
Last edited by Designer Bloodstain on Mon Jun 08, 2015 8:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
War across the stars...for every child...
Designer Bloodstain
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Ambrose Cordell Tollman
 
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Re: Tollman’s Journal

Postby Designer Bloodstain » Sun Mar 29, 2015 3:58 pm

*A neat hand*

[Esramir]

Thought for the day: War is the crucible in which humanity is forged.

We go to war soon.

Esramir, a world that was once at the forefront of the regional Crusade. We go there to seek an engram from the Empire of the Iron Star which will further guide our quest to find their heart worlds. We go there to do battle with the forces of the Archenemy. We go there because we must, it is our duty.

This is a world held by the Archenemy and so we shall be making a relatively covert insertion while our fleet engages theirs above. Time is short I am told and we shall need to move quickly lest we be trapped upon the world below.

This is not my first time on a war world, my birth world knew the tread of the Orkoid horde with their ‘waaagh’ and the Black Crusades of our Archenemy. My childhood was spent crawling through the vent-circulation of Armageddon Prime’s underhive, scavenging for food and planting improvised devices to catch the [REDACTED]. Still it has been some years since I have known war on a planetary scale.

The thought of this leaves me somewhat uneasy.

--

*A not so neat hand*

We have made planet fall! The enemy were unaware of us for a time until we stormed an out post in order to take it back from them. The opening engagement was close and bloody. There was a moment where [REDACTED] loomed up out of the darkness and I thought perhaps I had come face to face with [REDACTED] but fortunately it was not.

The situation here is far more dire than I first thought. There is an Archenemy warlord present and a number of the factions we face are also present. What is more there are Imperial forces still alive and fighting here after all these years. I am unsure how this has happened but it is unacceptable that these men have been abandoned here for so long without support or relief. That they have held out is a testament to Imperial soldiery and faith.

*Another scrawled update*

The Padre is dead!

There are few who I call friend, but he was one of them.

Where was I when the [REDACTED] took him? In the bunker, safe behind the lines. I am outraged at his death. I am disgusted at my own cowardice. Where was I? I tell myself that I had other duties, other things to do.

But I know what it was.

The quicker we are off of this world the better. Never in my career have I had the need to call Exterminatus against a planet. Never in my career have I had the urge to do so. But here, this world.

This world can burn.
War across the stars...for every child...
Designer Bloodstain
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Ambrose Cordell Tollman
 
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Re: Tollman’s Journal

Postby Designer Bloodstain » Sun Mar 29, 2015 11:19 pm

*A neat hand*

[Journals]

Thought for the day: Live a life that pleases Him. Die a death that serves Him.

A thought that occurs to me as I update this journal. I write in a book as opposed to a dataslate, a quaint indulgence of mine and yet even that is not free from technological meddling. Some sort of micro-fine weave that runs through the pages, acquiring the droplets of ink so that the pages blank themselves and seal closed should someone without the correct clearance try to open it. I do not understand quite how this process works, but I find it a marvel. Even in so small a matter as putting pen to paper, the Holy Ordos excel themselves in their paranoia and securitisation.
So small a matter...

These journals are a window into our lives, our thoughts and the things we achieve. Some are stories of greatness. Others tell of things that must never be repeated and some of these journals are chronicles of descents into madness. A record of how even the most well meaning and learned of us can go astray and sow the seeds of our own destruction. There is wisdom in these books, madness also at times. Given the eternal nature of our foe, it often becomes necessary to refer back to the work of colleagues who lived centuries before we ourselves are born and take up our mission.

It is a sad little thing in a way, to pour over the words of someone who no doubt met a very unpleasant ending indeed. So few of us make it to any sort of retirement after all. To rely upon those words and know that you are perhaps the only person who will see them for the next few centuries. I often wonder what will become of this journal when I am gone. What will those who come after me make of these words, of my journey and the things I have done and will come to do...

Already these pages fill with those little [REDACTED] strips that we are so fond of. I suspect that there will be many more to come.
War across the stars...for every child...
Designer Bloodstain
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Ambrose Cordell Tollman
 
Posts: 141
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Re: Tollman’s Journal

Postby Designer Bloodstain » Sun Aug 16, 2015 3:14 pm

[Footsteps]

Thought for the day: Dust and echoes.


The planet is poison.

There is a deep seated wrongness about the place, for sure. I’ve seen and felt worse but there was just something subtly unsettling about the place. The place has problems, deep problems. The church thinks they can solve that, civilise the natives and all that. Personally I feel the place would be better served by a precision scouring from orbit. The ground holds secrets and no ones that should come to light again.

I fear that we have only scratched the surface here and that we will rue the day when this planet divulges more of its secrets.

I already know more than I wanted to.

Ancient sins and old debts.

Debts that I will see paid if I can.

We lost one of our number on the planet, for a short while. Her resurrection is the first miracle we can attribute to our budding saint. Assuming that is what she is becoming as opposed to something else. I have theories about that but not enough time, never enough time.

I didn’t see her die and I didn’t see her come back either, I’d have liked to have seen that, the resurrection. I hate that I did not manage to pass on condolences at the death and then little more than a nod at the resurrection. I don’t recall if I was troubled by the death or not, I was too busy at the time I think. Who died? An associate? An ally? A friend?

I have few friends, I know this. Hard to have friends when people learn of your vocation.

This did make me think about my own death though.

I’ve not done that in a while.

I suspect that it will be unpleasant and very likely quite pointless, just another unrecorded statistic.

All this talk of succession and heirs and the like, I will leave nothing behind. Just this journal and the things I have done. Just this journal and the things I have done...Which no one will read or learn about unless they have the required clearances and the like. I will die and no one will care, I will die and be remembered only once in a while centuries hence when someone else of my calling needs to look something up.

I have no sons, no wife, no family.

Only this calling.

That’s all we are in the end.

These pages and the things we do.
War across the stars...for every child...
Designer Bloodstain
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Ambrose Cordell Tollman
 
Posts: 141
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2013 4:06 pm

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